hmm apparently for this week, my LEGO project havent been smooth sailing. its like i actually got a new idea on what to do, and i think it would be a really awesome system to implement, but i just dont have the resources!! ARGH. its so damn bloody irritating, especially when you already have a prototype, not to mention a working one! T.T sigh no choice no choice! im really broke now, and i feel it might be better to just make do with what i have! thats when my brain really gets to expand and think more, create more. but this weekend, i am just too tired to do anything i guess. like just slack. slack slack. but then again, it doesnt change the gross fact that i have a looming deadline to meet! :( if only i could get the resources that i need all at once at the flick of my fingers aye.

so....other than LEGO, this weekend has been a really shocking weekend for me. not in a good sense. but then again, i think i learnt some valuable lessons and whatever happened, it allowed me to stand back and see what has happened and continue on. its like raising my "situational awareness" you might say. whatever happened to me was totally off the charts uh. and it came really fast. over the years, i find myself going through quite a fair amount of shit and have helped tons of people with various problems. whether is it fitting into social circles.. or curbing laziness. but then again, at the end of every help i have done, its like i was disappointed. so me being like a lone wolf, tanking all of these stuffs, and now suddenly this thing comes crashing unto me, it was just too hard.not to mention, i was really really not expecting it. i guess now i finally realise the importance of talking it out with others. hear their perspective, as well as allow others to comfort you. after caring for people, its necessary to care for yourself too. but i think i really suck at the latter. im really really worn out, but i am glad that we can sort of come to an agreement. sometimes, i really really wish that life would be a whole lot simpler..its like some have really loads of problems and stuffs to worry about and its like living in a glass jail. tsk the only thing is that this glass is like bulletproof glass. bloody hell. i really really hope that things can get better over time, as some say, time is the best medicine. but i still feel unsure. there is always that area of uncertainty that boggles you down. what if, what if. Thankfully, i really love and appreciate my walk with God. just today, its like i once again feel reassured that He is real, that He is there for me. but i still feel kinda uncertain of the future. -.- its like what He says and whats happening, it doesnt quite tally and i dont know if such stuffs really got to happen. It really hurts me badly? but it probably is just something that i have to go through. i know, no point lamenting on the fact that it already happened, but i really hope nothing changes man. i really really value some stuffs A LOT.